Audacity
by Hello Kathryne
Summary: Carol didn't want him to go. Daryl didn't want to, either. It didn't stop it from happening. One-shot. Caryl. "The Suicide King" Spoilers.


Carol didn't ever have the audacity to think that Daryl Dixon loved her. Carol, even when she was married, didn't even really think that Ed loved her. Romantic love, as a concept, wasn't foreign to her, but it wasn't exactly familiar, either.

They had bonded, sure. Daryl was her friend, someone who she needed, needed as much or more than anyone else in their formed family. But to think that someone loved her, that he loved her, as the world had gone to hell was stupid. Carol didn't think she was stupid, but she had been called it enough in her lifetime that she knew when something was that way.

Yet, his departure felt strangely personal. Glenn told her his words before he left, referring to her. She'll understand. He had faith in her that she would recognize and reconcile with his decision, and though she didn't expect to, she had. When you were as code and honor bound as Daryl Dixon, blood had a certain weight in this dying world. It was more valuable than gold, diamonds, bullets and arrows. Daryl might not have trusted Merle, she didn't know that he did, but he certainly couldn't just leave him alone.

The only thing she couldn't quite forgive, although she wanted to, was that she didn't get a goodbye. It seemed like this world didn't allow for farewells. Maybe they felt too sentimental, but Daryl wouldn't be the last person she didn't get a fond farewell, and he certainly wasn't the first.

Plus, maybe it wasn't goodbye. Maybe it was a see you later. It wasn't a Sophia caliber goodbye, because Daryl was, well, Daryl. He was not only alive, but he was capable. He was more than capable. He was resilient.

But Carol? She didn't think she was as dumb, or as weak as she was pre-doomsday. But here she was, worried that if her now dead husband came through the doors and told her to pack up her shit, she would go with him. She was worried about hypotheticals that could never happen. Daryl saw the chance to be with his brother and though it hurt, he took it.

Maybe she was being too analytical about it. There was no way that he was pining and mourning choices made in this not too distant past.

She would just have to understand, like he thought she was capable of.

Daryl wasn't leaving because he wanted to. But put between a rock and a hard place, he had to go with the rock. His thick, hardheaded, rock of a brother, Merle.

He wasn't bluffing when he said he was leaving, and he didn't expect them to accept his ultimatum or take Merle with them. He felt bad for thinking it but he was on edge that Glenn was going to shoot his brother. That didn't happen. They didn't accept him. They told him not to do it, that Merle wasn't worth it.

Maybe Merle wasn't worth it, but he couldn't just abandon him again. He couldn't break out of a place that was going to make them fight to the death and then drop him off in the woods with one hand and, no pun intended, a handful of bullets.

The only thing that made him panic a little, make him double think and rethink and reconsider, was Glenn. Not his anger, not his recrimination, not his accusations against his brother. But the little pipsqueak voice asking him, "What do you want us to tell Carol?"

What did he want to say to Carol? Stay strong? That he was sorry? He didn't have anything to apologize to her for. There was no reason for him to feel especially bad about leaving her, besides the fact that he was leaving the group.

She teased and he blushed a bit and ignored it. He enjoyed her company. She was the closest thing to a friend he had, and hell. It wasn't even close to being friends, they were friends.

What could he say to Carol? What could he relay to her through them that wasn't sentimental, sappy, stupid? Because Daryl knew he wasn't the brightest bulb in the box, and he went through every scenario he could think of in a span of a few seconds.

He didn't want her to think that he wasn't sure of what he was doing. Because he wasn't sure, but he didn't need to make anyone worry about that. Especially Carol.

He finally knew what to say, and so he said it. "She'll understand."

She had to. He knew she would. She was a lot smarter than him, and she was good at the emotional things that he couldn't quite handle. She would do well.

She would understand.


End file.
